


Genderbent Disney Song-Along

by BeautyAndStrength



Category: Disney - All Media Types
Genre: Gen, Rule 63, Song Lyrics, song rewrites
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-02-26
Updated: 2019-02-26
Packaged: 2019-11-05 18:40:35
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 1,538
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17924210
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BeautyAndStrength/pseuds/BeautyAndStrength
Summary: A series of genderbent Disney songs.





	1. Gaston

**Author's Note:**

> Note on Chapter 1:   
> This was not only brought about by my excessive love of genderbending but was also strongly brought about by Miranh on Deviantart. She is currently in the process of making a comic series that is, panel for panel, a redrawing of the movie Beauty and the Beast (1991) with the three main characters, as well as a few smaller characters, genderbent.
> 
> And it is a fantastic series! If you ever wanted to see what the movie might have looked like with some characters in the opposite gender, it's perfect.
> 
> Anyway, here I was kind of bouncing off of what Miranh did in her variation of the genderbent edition of Gaston in the comic. So, the name of fem!Gaston is hers, and some of the lyrics used were hers as well. She was nice enough to let me borrow them.
> 
> I wanted to take a whack at rewriting this song because, although Miranh is a brilliant artist and a great storyteller, she is also from Italy, and English is not her mother language. Therefore, when it came to genderbending song lyrics, she had some trouble (heck, I'm a native English-speaker and it was tough for me to do). So this is me trying to make her lyrics flow a little better. 
> 
> And yes, some of these lyrics are not always kid-friendly. But you know what? The comic itself is not always kid-friendly either. Just read it and you'll see what I mean. Here's a link to the whole comic in case you're curious: [LINK](https://www.deviantart.com/miranh/art/Handsome-and-the-beast-Prologue-Pag-1-658567490)
> 
> Anyway, this song was supposed to be the only one, but I ended up getting inspired to make more right afterward. That's where the rest came from.

  


 

**Giselle:**

Who does he think he is!?   
That boy has tangled with the wrong woman!  
No one says no to Giselle!  


 

**LeFou:**

Darn right!  
**  
**

 

**Giselle:**

Dismissed! Rejected! Publicly humiliated!  
Why it's more than I can bear!  


 

**LeFou:**

More beer?  


 

**Giselle:**

What for? Nothing helps.  
I'm disgraced!  


 

**LeFou:**

Who, you? Never!  
Giselle, you've got to pull yourself together.  
  
_Gosh, it disturbs me to see you, Giselle,_  
_looking so down in the dumps._  
_Every man in here adores you, Giselle,_  
_Even when taking your lumps._  
_There's no woman in town as admired as you,_  
_folks praise you from here to Versailles_  
_Everyone's awed and inspired by you_  
_and it's not very hard to see why!_  
  
_No one's great like Giselle_  
_Makes folks gape like Giselle_  
_No one's got a voluptuous shape like Giselle_  
  
_There's no woman in town as enchanting_  
_A goddess, with no flaw in sight_  
_You have every man in this room panting_  
_and your beauty makes other girls' envy ignite!  
_

 

**All:**

_No one's perfect like Giselle_  
_Earns respect like Giselle_  


 

**LeFou:**

_No one's got a fine, sensual neck like Giselle  
_

 

**Giselle:**

_As a woman, it's true, I am captivating!  
_

 

**All:**

_My, what a girl, that Giselle!_  
  
_Give five hurrahs,_  
_give twelve hip-hips!  
_

 

**Lefou:**

_Giselle is the best_  
_and the rest is all drips._  


 

**All:**

_No one slaps likes Giselle_  
_Takes on chaps like Giselle_  
_In arm wrestling no one leaves cracks like Giselle_  


 

**Bimbos:**

_Because there's no one as curvy and brawny_  


 

**Giselle:**

_The reverse of a porcelain doll_  


 

**LeFou:**

_She's not flat-chested, lanky, or scrawny_

 

**Giselle:**

_For my breasts are the most firm and shapely of all!_

 

**All:**

_No one hits like Giselle_   
_Matches wits like Giselle_

 

**LeFou:**

_In a dancing match, no one high kicks like Giselle!_

 

**Giselle:**

_When singing, my voice makes the angels jealous_

(high note)

(Glass shatters)

 

**All:**

_Ten point for Giselle!_

 

**Giselle:**

_Every morn, as a child_   
_I'd eat three dozen eggs_   
_since I was wispy and gaunt as a ghost_   
_Now that I'm grown_   
_I eat four dozen eggs_   
_so I'm fuller where it matters most!_

 

 

**All:**

_No one shoots like Giselle_  
_Makes those beauts like Giselle_  


 

**LeFou:**

_No one pulls off both high heels and boots like Giselle_  


 

**Giselle:**

_I use antlers in all of my decorating!_  


 

**All:**

_Say it again_  
_Who's the queen of all men?_  
_And then say it once more,_  
_who's the hero next door?_  
_Who's a super success?_  
_Don't you know? Can't you guess?_  
_Ask her fans and her whole personnel_  
_There's just one woman in town_  
_who's got all of it down_  
  


 

**LeFou:**

_And her name's G-I-S-S-_  
_G-I-S-A-_  
_G-I-S-E_  
_Oh!  
_

 

**All:**

_GISELLE!!!_


	2. Hellfire

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This one was not nearly as challenging as Gaston was. Typically I try to not do songs that only require me to change a few pronouns and words here and there. I like to challenge myself more than that by picking songs that require me to change whole sentences, phrases, and stanzas. Honestly, I don't think any song I do in the future will be as challenging as Gaston.

  
  


**Choir:**

_Confiteor Deo Omnipotenti (I confess to almighty God)_   
_Beatae Mariae semper Virgini (blessed Mary ever-Virgin)_   
_Beato Michaeli archangelo (blessed Archangel Michael)_   
_Sanctis apostolis omnibus sanctis (Holy apostles all saints)  
_

**Claudia Frollo:**

_Beata Maria, you know I am a righteous one_   
_And of my virtue I am justly proud._   
  


**Choir:**

_Et tibit Pater (and to you, Father)_   
_  
_

**Claudia Frollo:**

_Beata Maria, you know I'm so much purer than_   
_The common, vulgar, weak, licentious crowd._   
  


**Choir:**

_Quia peccavi nimis (that I have sinned)_   
_  
_

**Claudia Frollo:**

_Then tell me, Maria, why I see him dancing there,_   
_why his smoldering eyes still scorch my soul._   
  


**Choir:**

_Cogitatione (in thought)  
_

**Claudia Frollo:**

_I feel him! I see him!_   
_The sun caught in his raven hair_   
_is blazing in me out of all control!_   
  


**Choir:**

_Verbo et opere (in word and deed)_   
_  
_

**Claudia Frollo:**

_Like fire, Hellfire!_   
_This fire in my skin!_   
_This burning desire_   
_is turning me to sin!_   
  
_It's not my fault!_   
  


**Choir:**

_Mea culpa (through my fault )_   
_  
_

**Claudia Frollo:**

_I'm not to blame!_   
  


**Choir:**

_Mea culpa (through my fault)_   
_  
_

**Claudia Frollo:**

_It is the gypsy,_   
_the gypsy set this flame!_   
  


**Choir:**

_Mea maxima culpa (_ _through my most grievous fault_ _)  
_

**_  
_Claudia Frollo:**

_It's not my fault!_   
  


**Choir:**

_Mea culpa (through my fault)_   
_  
_

**Claudia Frollo:**

_If in God's plan!_   
  


**Choir:**

_Mea culpa (through my fault)_   
_  
_

**Claudia Frollo:**

_He made the Devil so much stronger than I am!_   
  


**Choir:**

_Mea maxima culpa (through my most grievous fault)_   
  


**Claudia Frollo:**

_Protect me, Maria!_   
_Don't let this sorcerer cast his spell!_   
_Don't let his fire sear my flesh and bone!_   
_Destroy him, I beg you,_   
_and let him taste the fires of Hell,_   
_or else let him be mine and mine alone!_   
  


**Guard:**

Mistress Frollo, the gypsy has escaped!  
  


**Claudia Frollo:**

What!  
  


**Guard:**

He's nowhere in the cathedral. He's gone!  
  


**Claudia Frollo:**

But how...? Never mind! Get out you idiot!  
I'll find him! I'll find him even if I have to burn down all of Paris!  
  
 _Hellfire! Dark fire!_  
 _Now gypsy it's your turn!_  
 _Choose me or your pyre!_  
 _Be mine or you will burn!_  
  


**Choir:**

_Kyrie Eleison (Lord have mercy)_ __  
  


**Claudia Frollo:**

_God have mercy on him._   
  


**Choir:**

_Kyrie Eleison (Lord have mercy)  
_

**Claudia Frollo:**

_God have mercy on me!_   
  


**Choir:**

_Kyrie Eleison (Lord have mercy)_ __  
  


**Claudia Frollo:**

_But he will be mine or he will BURN!_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I chose to make Frollo a woman in this edition, because I wanted it to be a bit more of a challenge to change the lyrics. However, I actually love the idea of Frollo singing this as a man. I think it makes the whole situation even more forbidden and intense. I mean, the guy's already freaking out about feeling lust, so why don't we add homosexuality on top of it to spice it up. My idea for that version is that Frollo became ultra religious when he started realizing he was gay, and suppressed his sexuality so hard for so long that he genuinely believed that he couldn't possibly feel that way for another man. So when he started lusting after Male!Esmeralda, he didn't think it was because he was gay, but because Male!Esmeralda was a sorcerer who was using black magic to twist his mind.
> 
> One of my ideal genderbent situations for HOND is Esmeralda, Phoebus, and Frollo all being men, and Quasimodo and possibly Clopin being women. Quite frankly though, I love every possible genderbent variation of the story.


	3. Belle

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Once again, this taken right off of Miranh's comic. It was really just a few rhymes here and there that I wanted to fix. 
> 
>  
> 
> Also, just a little tip; make sure to watch the video a couple times before trying to match the lyrics with the music. Because when Gaston's (Giselle's) part comes on, there's a bit of a pause beforehand, and if you're not paying attention, you will get thrown off a bit. Listen and you'll see what I mean.

## 

**BEAU:**

 _Little town_  
 _It's a quiet village_  
 _Every day_  
 _Like the one before_  
 _Little town_  
 _Full of little people_  
 _Waking up to say:_

 **TOWNSFOLK:**  
 _Bonjour! Bonjour! Bonjour! Bonjour! Bonjour!_

**BEAU:**  
 _There goes the baker with his tray, like always_  
 _The same old bread and rolls and dough_  
 _Every morning just the same_  
 _Since the morning that we came_  
 _To this poor provincial town_

**BAKER:**  
Good Morning, Beau!

**BEAU:**  
Good morning, Monsieur.

**BAKER:**

And where are you off to, today?

 **BEAU:**  
The bookshop.  
I just finished the most thrilling story  
About a beanstalk and an ogre and a -

**BAKER:**  
That's nice. Marie!  
The baguettes!  
Hurry up!

**TOWNSFOLK:**  
 _Look there he goes that boy is strange, no question_  
 _Dazed and distracted, don't you know?_

**WOMAN:**  
 _Never part of any crowd_

**MAN:**  
' _Cause his head's up on some cloud_

**TOWNSFOLK:**  
 _No denying he's a funny boy that Beau  
_  
 **MAN I:**  
 _Bonjour!_

**WOMAN I:**  
 _Good day!_

**MAN I:**  
 _How is your family?_

**WOMAN 2:**  
 _Bonjour!_

**MAN 2:**  
 _Good day!_

**WOMAN 2:**  
 _How is your wife?_

**WOMAN 3:**  
 _I need six eggs!_

**WOMAN 4:**  
 _That's too expensive!_

**BEAU:**  
 _There must be more than this provincial life!_

**BOOKSELLER:**  
Ah, Beau.

**BEAU:**  
Good morning, sir.  
I've come to return the book I borrowed.

**BOOKSELLER:  
** Finished already?

**BEAU:**  
Oh, I couldn't put it down.  
Have you got anything new?

**BOOKSELLER:**  
Not since yesterday.

**BEAU:**  
That's all right.  
I'll borrow . . . . . this one!

**BOOKSELLER:**  
That one?  
But you've read it twice!

**BEAU:**  
Well, it's my favorite!  
Far off places, daring swordfights, magic spells, a prince in disguise -

**BOOKSELLER:**  
If you like it all that much, it's yours!

**BEAU:**  
But sir!

**BOOKSELLER:**  
I insist.

**BEAU:**  
Thank you.  
Thank you very much!

**TOWNSFOLK:**  
 _Look there he goes that boy is so peculiar_  
 _See how his eyes dart to and fro_  
 _With a dreamy, far-off look_  
 _And his nose stuck in a book_  
 _What a puzzle to the rest of us is Beau_

**BEAU:**  
 _Oh, isn't this amazing?_  
 _It's my favorite part because --- you'll see_  
 _Here's where she meets Prince Charming_  
 _But she won't discover that it's him 'til chapter three!_

**WOMAN:**  
 _Now it's no wonder that his name means "Beauty"_  
 _His looks have got no worthy foe_

**SHOPKEEPER:**  
 _But behind that fair facade_  
 _I'm afraid he's rather odd_

**MAN:**  
 _Very diff'rent from the rest of us_

**TOWNSFOLK:**  
 _He's nothing like the rest of us_  
 _Yes, diff'rent from the rest of us is Beau!_

**LEFOU:**  
Wow! You didn't miss a shot, Giselle!  
You're the greatest huntress in the whole world!

**GISELLE:**  
I know.

**LEFOU:**  
No beast alive stands a chance against you. ---  
And no boy, for that matter.  
 **  
GISELLE:**  
It's true, LeFou.  
And I've got my sights set on that one.

**LEFOU:**  
The inventor's son?

**GISELLE:  
** He's the one - the lucky boy I'm going to marry.

**LEFOU:**  
But he's -

**GISELLE:**  
The handsomest young man in town.

**LEFOU:**  
I know, but -

**GISELLE:**  
That makes him the best.  
And don't I deserve the best?

**LEFOU:**  
Of course you do!

**GISELLE:**  
 _Right from the moment when I met him, saw him_  
 _He had me with the first hello_  
 _Here in town there's only he_  
 _Who is beautiful as me_  
 _So I'm making plans to woo and marry Beau_

**BIMBOS:**  
 _Look there she goes,_  
 _Isn't she stunning?_  
 _Mademoiselle Giselle_  
 _Oh she's so cute!_  
 _My heart's on fire, my pulse is running_  
 _She's such a dazzling, strong, and gorgeous brute!_

**WOMAN 1:**  
 _Bonjour!_

**GISELLE:**  
 _Pardon_

**BEAU:**  
 _Good day_

**WOMAN 2:**  
 _Mais oui!_

**WOMAN 3:**  
 _You call this bacon?_

**WOMAN 4:**  
 _What lovely grapes!  
_  
 **MAN 1:**  
 _Some cheese_

**WOMAN 5:**  
 _Ten yards!_

**MAN 1:  
** _one pound_

**GISELLE:**  
 _'scuse me!_

**CHEESE MERCHANT:**  
 _I'll get the knife_

**GISELLE:**  
 _Please let me through!_

**WOMAN 6:**  
 _This bread -_

**WOMAN 7:**  
 _Those fish -_

**WOMAN 6:**  
 _it's stale!_

**WOMAN 7:**  
 _they smell!_

**MEN:**  
 _Madame's mistaken._

**WOMEN:**  
 _Well, maybe so_

**TOWNSFOLK:  
** _Good morning!_  
 _Oh, good morning!_

**BEAU:**  
 _There must be more than this provincial life!_

**GISELLE:**  
 _Just watch,_  
 _I'm going to be Beau's wife!_

**TOWNSFOLK:**  
 _Look there he goes_  
 _The boy is strange but special_  
 _An odd monsieur from head to toe!_

**WOMEN:**  
 _It's a pity and a sin_

**MEN:**  
 _He doesn't quite fit in_

**TOWNSFOLK:**  
 _'Cause he really is a funny boy_  
 _A handsome but a funny boy_  
 _He really is a funny boy_  
 _That Beau!_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There were many rhymes that gave me a great deal of pain. For example, I didn't want to have the Bimbos refer to Giselle as a brute. I don't know, it just didn't seem right. So I tried finding a word to substitute it. However, I also had to find a word that rhymed with the new word. Needless to say, that made the task twice as hard. Eventually I gave up and just stuck with the word brute. Well, Giselle is very brutish, so I guess it fits. Plus, the Bimbos already called Giselle brawny in my Gaston genderbend edition, so I guess I can let it go for now.
> 
> Other than that, there were a couple other rhymes that still feel a teeny bit awkward to me. I might go back and fix them later.


End file.
